outofmymind

options so far:
x jump from building - doesn't seem wise. also: might hurt.
x ignore everything - makes the whole affair probably worse.
x find yummy things in medicine cabinet and just go to town - seems also unwise. probably leads to injury of some kind and defaults back to point two.
x empty alcohol shelf -  seems also unwise. probably leads to injury of some kind and defaults back to point two. again.
x find someone to take my place and make any kind of decision - nicer idea. where t find and would they make a good decision? 
x give up and go with the flow - can't be worse than situation now. just filled with other things I hate and people. urgh.
x .. I got nothin. 


"You leave the honey-den, forlorn and disappointed." 

when mother calls it often drags me down. I shouldn't let it but she has the power to make me feel half an inch tall with two sentences. makes you wanna pull the blanket over your head and forget the whole damn world exists. makes me feeling like linkin park. I searched for that line in my head for half an hour. it's from numb/encore.
"I'm becoming this. all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. "
although so many linkin park songs make you wanna scream it all out (eg Crawling, Points of Authority, Bleed it Out, Papercut..) I should make a playlist again..